Alright.

I admit it now. If you want to live your life, depend on your own self. No depending on anyone. Not parents, not siblings...no one...Not even your partner in life. No one at all. When my child grows up... I am making him as independent as ever. I will give him his own house when he wants to marry someone and will not at all interfere with his life. Thats it. I'll do with him whatever was not done with me.

Why are people around me so different then what I want them to be. Why me...Always the same question pops up in my mind.

When will I have that life which I want. You can do everything with me, curse my child, say bad things to him, scold him whenever you want...and I cant even say a word because you are elder. If you are elder then me then act like an elder. Dont test my patience. He is my son and I am supposed to keep him away from every such person who even looks at him harshly. But all I can do is ignore whatever you do. If am dependent upon you right now...Dont forget that one day I will be independent. And after that happens I will not even look back at you. Then I not be able to forget it all.
How much I wish that I can have what I want quickly because everyone around me is driving me crazy at the moment. Targetting me, talking about my life all the time..scolding my son..what are you trying to do...dont jeaporize me. Wait for sometime...I will go...one day...someday.

I wish my wishes may come true...and it better be soon.
You be happy.


P.S. Thanks for your comments, i dont write often because i dont have regular access to the computer, when i do, i write. tc.

I want ...

Why does it happen that sometimes you want it to happen quickly and when it is done you want time to come back and make it happen all over again. I am not at all saying I want my past to come back again, I just want to have control on time. I want some things to happen slowly and others to just happen as quickly as possible.

I want to be free to express my feelings. I want to feel excellent about my life. I want things to be near to perfection. I want this, I want that.
Why do I have to run behind things to make them happen. If I want things my way, why is it so difficult to do it. Why oh why oh why.

I want to go on a long vacation and check my boundaries. I want to live life. I want to love life.

I want you to pray for me.
Take care.