I am NOT mad.

You think I am mad and am over reacting on simple situations around me. You think I am being extra sensitive to normal things around me. No I am not. I am dealing with people who are capable of drawing a very sane person so insane that he /she might consider killing them, not herself/himself, happily.

Imagine this situation. I live with you being your son's wife. I fall really sick and because I am not being taken care of very nicely (not at all), my husband decides to leave me at my parents place for some days or until I am cured and he does that. One whole month passes by and I don't hear from you. You don't even give me a 'get well soon call'. I have my son, your grandson, with me..you don't care how he is. Then one day my mom is sick and is in hospital and you show up with lots of stuff and soup and stay there for long hours and are so caring and concerned for her. The next day you show up again and stay there for 8 hours... so much pain in your heart you call for soups and stuff again..

WHAT IS Happening!!!! I am your daughter in law!!! You don't give a damn how I have been doing, how i am feeling, what is wrong with me... and you show up for my mother. What are you trying to prove here. You love me. You care for my family. You are so gentle at heart that you can spend your whole day at hospital for my family. No . Not this time. You are not fooling me this time. You fooled me once with your fake charms but not his time. I know you too well to be impressed by you.
And this is just one instance. there too many like these and even worse. so worse I sometimes think what kind of a person I am to have quietly let them do it.

These people I am dealing with. Why i may not cry. Why I may not wake up in the morning stressed that I have to spend one more day of my life with them. Why do I even try to change them, when I can not bare to even think about them. You blame me for my idiotic ways...step in my shoes for a single day, with the same feeling that I have for them, and then try to change things. I have not given up on my life. I have just put a pause on it for some time. It is not one person who is using me or misusing me or exploiting my entire existence..its a whole family doing this. One girl of minimum exposure ( I've never been to a collage) against a whole family of hypocrites and fake people.

One can just easily tell me its possible to make things better or that I can change things... No I cannot because I don't see any hope.
You see some hope?

All you out there. Love your life. Your problems are nothing.
Think.